Oh. I just realised that with school holidays ending I have to start getting my shiz together to join the gym like I promised I would at the start of the summer holidays. Part of me is excited at the thought; I used to enjoy going to the gym. And part of me is like… pooh! I don’t wanna! Can’t I just be a lump on the couch?
But chatting with my friend Joanne has made me realise that chemotherapy wasn’t really that long ago; it was a scant few months back when I was crippled with side effects and fighting for my life. That as good as I feel now, there are still limitations as to what I can put my body through and I need to remember to ease into the whole gym experience; not go rushing in with no regard to what I have been through these last couple of years.
And I really don’t want to write this next sentence, but the truth is I have to remember that the cancer is still inside me; it’s asleep but it’s there. Not that going to the gym is going to wake it up or anything, but the reality is I am still a person with cancer. I need to remember that I am not all powerful and capable like I want to believe I am. I have to avoid the “I have survived chemotherapy, I can do anything!” mentality. I cannot leap tall buildings in a single bound, I do not have superhuman strength, vision or speed and I do not have a stylised “S” tattooed on my shirt. Thinking about it, my morning breath could be considered superhuman I suppose.
Part of me really wants to go back to GoodLife gym as they have women only gyms and I feel more comfortable there, but the GoodLife gym closest to me is a mixed gym. Going to the women’s only gym would require me to take a bus ride, and the local council gym that is only a five minute walk away from my house is mixed, although it undoubtedly is a much cheaper option. It all comes down to how comfortable I feel.
A phone call later and it turns out that the GoodLife gym membership is about $30 a fortnight; expensive and yet not. If I ended going the five or six days a week like I used to it would be around $3 a visit… that isn’t so bad really. Am I not worth that kind of investment? If I would be more faithful in going to the gym because I felt more comfortable, wouldn’t that be the right way to go?
It seems like a big decision right now.
Do I allow money or personal comfort rule my world?
What would Super Girl do?
Mummah Bookworm 