Going Back to the Kitchen

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The great thing about the new TV set up is that we are getting a free trial of the Food Network. I know, it’s an evil thing really, designed to sucker you into loving the channel and wanting to order it permanently so the telecommunication company can make more money out of you, but it’s a done deal in these parts.

Back in Australia Bronwen and I would cuddle up together in bed and watch cooking shows on the Food Network and she would ask three year old worthy questions about what the chefs were doing and then she would want to help me in the kitchen when I would make the evening meals. It was a precious time.

Now we have the channel back again after years without it and last night we slipped back into a familiar routine of snuggling together under the covers and watching French Food at Home with Laura Calder. It was great fun in that we talked about whether we liked each recipe or not and what we would do to change it up and make it our own kind of meal and of course Bronwen decided that she was hungry and the only thing that would fix her craving was a bowl of banana, strawberries and vanilla yoghurt which I nixed as it was far too late in the evening to be eating!

Then she started up on asking me to make a Pavlova or banana bread, and cakes and stews (yes!) and any number of other things. But the great thing was that rather than feeling overwhelmed at her requests as I have so often in the past couple of years last night I was able to tell her that my cooking buzz was slowly coming back. That watching cooking shows with her was getting my mojo back and that I wanted to try and cook again.

Not that I stopped cooking obviously, but cooking special meals rather than just relying on good old standards like spaghetti or cheesy mac or meat and ten veg (I hate three veggies, it’s just not enough choice!) It’s exciting to feel some of my old cooking creativity energy back, to feel the thrill at the idea of spending time in the kitchen. It’s almost as if my cancer recovery is feeling a little more real because I can stand the idea of being in the kitchen again.

So tonight in celebration of feeling like the kitchen is my friend again and not an energy sapping dungeon I am going to make my Bronwen (as opposed to world) famous stew and I can’t wait.

Spit in Anger and Pray for Justice

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I had a rather nasty surprise on Monday when I went to check my bank account. I had tried to use my card to buy some ‘naughty’ Chinese food and was rejected and just thought to myself… isn’t my bank good to stop me from wasting my money? Yay for banks!

Turns out that some skin care I had bought online is actually run by a scam artist and the fraudulent company had helped itself to $400 of my money. Wiped me out clean. I was actually in the red by $0.05 because they had taken every last penny and then some because of it being taken in US funds from my bank account.

Oh I was so angry. I was stunned. “How could this happen to me?” I thought. How dare they reach into my account and take money from me without my knowledge, much less my permission. I stewed about it all day.

Of course I rang the bank and had a stop put on my card, so now I have to wait for a new card and PIN to be sent out to me which is a whole other bowl of trouble in that we have no access to funds until the new card comes in the mail.

After the initial outrage I had to really hold myself from thinking and dwelling on the negative because it would be so easy to do. It’s not been easy to be honest to allow anger to dissipate. I want revenge. I want my money back and I want an apology for trouble that I’m going through whilst this mess is sorted out. It’s hard to wait for righteousness when there is no guarantee of honesty as the swindlers bank could very well reject my banks request for a refund.

It would be so easy to hold onto the anger and let it fester. But I’ve had to consciously let it go and allow myself to trust that my money will come back to me tenfold; maybe not in reality but spiritually it will come back tenfold. I have had to spit in anger and then pray for justice. I have had to let go of the intense anger and allow peace to fill my heart.

It’s been a learning experience.